Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
