Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
