just tell him i said nine months
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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