I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
