just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
