mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
