What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize