Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
