I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize