chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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