I'm gonna have a badass scar
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Randomize
