I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
