For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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