How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
