my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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