Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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