If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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