I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
