I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
