She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
