I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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