she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
