How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
