He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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