I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You took a bar mat shot.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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