we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
