I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
