JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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