Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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