Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize