btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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