Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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