How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
