IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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