i don't like sucking hair
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize