so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize