"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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