just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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