i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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