6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Please don't give away my fajitas
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
