thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
