Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
