who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
