what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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