Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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