At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
