Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
