Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
