I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
