omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i drank out of a bidet.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
