He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
