Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
