i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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