Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
