its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
