shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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