what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
