apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
