That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
